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Is it obligatory for the son to obey his parents?
It is obligatory for the son (or the daughter) to obey the parents if the disobedience leads to ‘uqooq’, i.e. it is considered an offense and aggression against them. It is also obligatory to obey them if the son (or the daughter) expect that his disobedience would cause harm to them. Otherwise, it is not obligatory to obey the parents, although it is better to do so anyway.
I find it difficult to obey and treat my grandparents exactly like my parents and sometimes behave wrongly with them, while I do not do bad with my parents. Is the status in Islam of grandparents same as the parents?
Although it is not obligatory to treat the grandparents in the manner one should treat the parents, and the strong ties that one has with his parents may not be with one’s grandparents too, there is no doubt that one should deal with the grandparents in a good manner.
I want to become a religious scholar and acquire religious education, but my parents are not happy and want me to continue secular education. Is it obligatory on me to obey my parents in this situation?
It is not obligatory to obey the parents. What is obligatory is to be dutiful to them and to have a good relationship with them. Nevertheless, we advise you to convince them and take their permission as much as is possible as this is one of the means of receiving divine blessings.
If a person's parents used to be wrong-doers, but now have repented, but the son's memories of how they used to wrong people enrages him, what would be his position on the Day of Judgment because of his feelings?
One should deal with their parents in a kind and dutiful way, even if they have committed bad deeds in the past.
Is it true that the one who annoys his parents and hurts them, they will go to hell?
There is no doubt that being ungrateful to one's parents (Uqooq) in any form is amongst the greatest prohibitions, and the committer of such a sin has been warned by Almighty Allah with the punishment in hellfire.
I live with my mother; I have not lived away from home without my mother ever. What does Islam say about living away from home?
Living with the mother is not obligatory, but you should communicate with her through available means and visit her when possible.
I am not living with my mother. How often is it obligatory on me to speak to her over the telephone or by any means of contact?
There is no set limit for this issue by the Sharia. One is obligated to have a form of contact that usually indicates good communication and being dutiful to the parents.
If a mother has done wrong, and her son points it out to her causing her to become upset with him, has the son sinned?
Merely having differences in opinion with the parents is not sinful. Explaining the opinion in a way that causes humiliation is not permitted.
My mother does not wear Hijab. Whenever I advise her on this matter, she gets angry with me and does not listen. Is it permissible for me to stop advising her?
If she does not accept your advice, then you may stop advising her. You should know that her continuation in committing sins does not remove the obligation on you to be dutiful to her and treat her well as a mother, since it is obligatory to be dutiful to the parents whether they are pious or not.
When you treat her nicely – in accordance to the religion teachings – she might feel the mercy and goodness in the religious teachings, which may become a reason for her guidance and obedience to the religious obligations and duties in the future.
Is it obligatory to obey one’s father in choosing a wife for marriage?
Disobeying the parents in such a matter is not considered as ingratitude (Uqooq), but one should refrain from breaking the relationship with them because of such an issue.
If my father tells me to shave my beard, is it obligatory for me to shave it?
It is prohibited to shave the beard. It is not obligatory to obey the father in the said case.
If an act is permitted by the Sharia, but mother forbids it and will clearly be hurt if it is done, then is it prohibited to do it?
It is not obligatory to obey your mother in all that she asks from you. However, it is obligatory to be dutiful with her and deal with her nicely.
What can you advise me if my parents forbade me to pray?
It is not obligatory to obey them in this matter. One must offer the prayers. One can compensate this disobedience to them by pleasing them in matters that do not contravene the Islamic laws.
What should those girls do whose parents forbid them to wear the hijab?
It is obligatory on the woman to wear hijab regardless of the position of the parents. It is prohibited to obey them in this case.
If the tradition that Paradise is under the feet of mothers is authentic, how can it be understood? Does it mean that the mother of a child has more rights to her child than the father, for example?
The mentioned tradition does not mean that the mother has more rights over the child than the father. Some narrations indicate that being good to the mother is more emphasized than being good to the father.
If the parents of a person do not want their duty-bound (baligh) son to do something that is recommended, and the son does not perform that act in front of them, is he allowed to do it in a way that his parents do not get to know about it and they do not get hurt emotionally? For example, the parents tell the son not to go to the mosque and pray in congregation, can the son go in a way that his parents do not get to know about it and they do not get hurt emotionally?
Yes, it is permissible for him to do so without them knowing.
I am a 22-year-old male who lives at home and goes to university. I dearly love my parents and financially support them as much as I can. However, my father doesn’t give me any privacy. He shows no trust in me and most of the time doesn’t allow me to go and do the things I want to do. Alhamdulillah, I observe my religion in a strict way, and I haven’t committed any act that would warrant my father to act so distrustfully. My friends are also religious Shia Muslims.
My questions are as follows:
(1) Even though I am 22 years old, is my father still allowed to not let me leave the house and go out with my friends or run errands?
(2) Even though I’m an adult, is it permissible for my father to invade my privacy?
(3) Is my father permitted to forcefully make me attend non-religious events?
The relationship between a father and his son should be based on mutual respect and love, since the father usually cares about his son and tries to raise him righteously.
It is natural that the father watches his son’s behavior and tries to learn about his friends in order to protect him from making mistakes. The son should understand this and appreciate it. With the development of more trust between the two, the following and control decreases gradually when the father sees the good behavior of his son.
If the father askes his son to do what does not correspond to the rulings of the Sharia, the son is not obligated to follow him although it is obligatory for the son to deal with his parents with good manners and respect.
My mother and father got divorced almost 25 years ago. I haven't met my father for many years now. He was very abusive towards my mother, an alcoholic, miser etc. and did not practice his religion. He has left my mother and my older siblings with traumatic memories. Our mother hasn't forbidden us from seeing him, but we have no desire to do so. We also fear that if we do keep in contact with him, he may take advantage and harm us or our mother. Is our isolation and lack of any contact with our father permitted in Islam?
It is obligatory to communicate with the father, even by the least ways of communicating, like talking to him over the phone or seeing him in main events. However, if one has a rational fear that even communicating with him in this minimal manner would cause him harm, then it is not obligatory.